We should be careful and discriminating in all the advice we give. We should be especially careful in giving advice that we would not think of following ourselves. Most of all, we ought to avoid giving counsel which we don’t follow when it damages those who take us at our word. ~ Adlai Stevenson

Passing on good advice to other women is so important, and I have been thinking of what good advice to pass on to my niece Caroline who is now 14, it’s been my job to do this, since her mom passed away. This list of “100 things a woman should know, remember and pass on” is a work in progress, and I hope that when the time is right it will serve her well as she transitions from her teen years into adulthood. I think it’s a good list to reflect upon, and remember some important advice…..

Part of the reason [motherly advice] bugs us as daughters is because our mothers are so powerful in our lives. They loom like giants. The reason mothers keep at it is because they’re so powerless. They cannot get you to do what is so obvious to them you should do. ~ Deborah Tannen

100 things a woman should know, remember and pass on

1. Always judge people by their ACTIONS NOT THEIR WORDS.
2. BE KIND, most importantly to yourself.
3. LIVE IN THE MOMENT, don’t waste your time on would have, should haves.
4. Don’t fear FAILURE – it will provide the most important life lessons.
5. LISTEN…..
6. HELP THOSE who are less fortunate.
7. GRIEVING can last a moment or a lifetime – it’s OK.
8. DON’T GOSSIP.
9. BE PASSIONATE.
10. SHAKE HANDS FIRMLY – it shows confidence.
11. BE CONFIDENT IN YOUR BODY – no matter what the women’s magazines say.
12. Be able to beat the crap out of any man – to PROTECT YOURSELF.
13. Know that for EVERY ACTION there is a REACTION.
14. Have a POINT A VIEW.
15. DON’T TRY AND CHANGE ANYONE, acceptance is part of love.
16. Know how to ACCEPT HELP and say THANK YOU.
17. WHEN IN DOUBT – ASK.
18. KNOW HOW TO USE POWERTOOLS and regular tools.
19. KNOW HOW TO SHOP A SALE.
20. LOVE YOUR FAMILY, you can’t pick them, they are part of who you are.
21. Get someone else to CHANGE YOUR FLAT TIRE.
22. BE GRACIOUS – even when you get a hideous gift from your grandmother.
23. GO FOR WHAT YOU WANT, don’t wait to be offered.
24. LET YOUR FREAK FLAG FLY, it’s OK to be different, embrace it.
25. DO ANYTHING ON YOUR OWN if necessary, and be OK with being alone.
26. PEOPLE ARE NOT MIND READERS …..especially NOT men.
27. BE FEARLESS.
28. MOST MEN WANT TO BED YOU. Men think about sex 13 times a day, while women only 5 times day – see what I mean.
29. THINK CRITICALLY and be able to discern biases and basic assumptions.
30. SAY “NO” – WITH FORCE.
31. ASK FOR HELP WHEN YOU NEED IT, don’t be afraid to ask for it.
32. DON’T ASSUME ANYTHING – take the time to look at things from both sides.
33. IT’S OK TO DISAGREE WITH SOMEONE, do so politely and convincingly.
34. REMAIN CALM and aware during a crisis.
35. YOUR HEART WILL BE BROKEN, but time heals all wounds.
36. When a love affair is over – you can’t go back to being “JUST FRIENDS”.
37. YOU ARE UNIQUE AND SPECIAL, a one of a kind creation.
38. ALWAYS HAVE A LITTLE BLACK DRESS on hand – it can save you!
39. When YOU ASK A QUESTION, ALWAYS BE PREPARED FOR THE ANSWER.
40. CONFIDENCE IS SEXY - if a man doesn’t see that, he is not right for you.
41. YOU WILL GET OLD - own and admire every line and wrinkle.
42. Don’t say I’M SORRY” OR I LOVE YOU, unless you really mean it.
43. BE CENTERED, and when you feel off center, learn how to get back on track.
44. SEX IS OK, as long as you are in a caring, MONOGAMOUS relationship.
45. IF YOU DON’T ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT, the answer is always NO.
46. DON’T TRUST EVERYTHING YOU READ.
47. GO FOR YOUR DREAMS – at any age.
48. BUILD YOUR SUPPORT SYSTEM - it’s important in case of an emergency.
49. DON’T EXPECT ANYTHING IN RETURN when you help someone else.
50. DON’T WAIT FOR YOUR TURN TO SPEAK. Be assertive. Interrupt!
51. DON’T LET ANYONE TELL YOU CAN’T.
52. DON’T LET REJECTION OR CRITICISM DETROY YOU. Learn and move on
53. TAKE RISKS IN LOVE…..
54. NERDS NEED LOVING TOO. Look for a good man with a good heart, who is keen, clean and not mean, and generous in all things material and spiritual.
55. YOU WILL BE DISAPPOINTED, move on.
56. SUCESS IS NOT FOREVER, you have to keep working hard to maintain it.
57. DON’T MISLEAD OR LIE  – it is a bad road to take.
58. LONG-TERM LOVE IS MORE EASILY FOUND WITH A FRIEND. 
59. Marry someone of a similar background, and with the SAME CORE VALUES.
60. Someone who cheats with you, will cheat on you, CHEATERS ARE NOT KEEPERS.
61. People respond positively to LOVING, NOT NEEDING.
62. ALWAYS LOOK YOUR BEST, even when you go to the supermarket.
63. Know that EVERYTHING in life is negotiable.
64. Always bring your “A” GAME.
65. LISTEN TO YOUR INTUITION, it’s your internal alarm system.
66. Always keep your DOORS LOCKED at home and in the car.
67. NEVER ACT LIKE A MAN to get what you want, use your feminine power, it wont make you weak.
68. SMILE, to show joy or amusement, not to please others.
69. NEVER GO AGAINST YOUR CORE VALUES.
70. There is a PRICE TO PAY for everything
71. NOTHING AND NO ONE IS PERFECT. Even Prince Charming has bad breath in the morning.
72. ADMIT MISTAKES, make amends and move on.
73. Know how TO TAKE A COMPLIMENT - always say “thank you”.
74. DON’T BELIEVE YOUR OWN PRESS – good or bad.
75. SELL YOURSELF  – no one can do it better than you!
76. IT’S OK TO CRY. My good friend Juliette says tears gets rid of excess salt
77. BE AUTHENTIC, it’s better to be a real version of yourself than an imitation of someone else.
78. SET YOUR OWN AGENDA and stick to it.
79. BREAK THE RULES (NOT THE LAW), AND MAKE YOUR OWN RULES.
80. DO THE UNEXPECTED, don’t let others expectations rule your behavior.
81. BE UNFORGETTABLE, in a good way.
82. QUESTION EVERYTHING – but don’t waste too much time on unninportant lies
83. Learn to CONTROL YOUR MOOD - don’t stay angry or sad.
84. PROJECT STRENGTH with your body language – stand up straight!
85. KNOW HOW TO MAKE A LIVING, doing a few different things.
86. PERFECTION ISN’T THAT GREAT, remember it’s OK to draw outside the lines.
87. BE CREATIVE in everything you do.
88. TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOURSELF, before taking care of others, put on your oxygen mask first.
89. YOU DON’T KNOW EVERYTHING and that’s OK.
90. YOU CAN’T CONTROL EVERYTHING, let go.
91. When buying HIGH HEELS AND BOOTS buy a size larger.
92. CORRECT METHOD FOR PUTTING ON A BRA, lean over and grab the side of your breast until it fits properly in your bra cup repeat on both sides.
93. STAY HEALTHY, it’s your responsibility.
94. NEVER DO BUSINESS WITH A WOMANIZER, he’s too busy chasing girls.
95. In a relationship you must PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR PARTNER.
96. Learn to apply MAKE-UP WITHOUT A MIRROR.
97. LISTEN TO YOUR BODY, feed it when it’s hungry, let it rest when it is tired.
98. BE GRATEFUL.
99. LAUGH AT YOURSELF…… we all make blunders, no one is perfect.
100. WAIT FOR THE REAL THING…. NEVER SETTLE.

If you have more advice to add please do so in the comments – I would love to include it in my list!

Don’t follow any advice, no matter how good, until you feel as deeply in your spirit as you think in your mind that the counsel is wise. ~ Joan Rivers

When you are looking for a job, it’s important to remember that doing what you have always done is just not enough. Think it through, and then take action. After all, that’s what your employer will want you to do when you accept the job anyway.
~ Priscilla Claman, President of Career Strategies, Inc.,

OK I admit it, I don’t like looking for a job – does anybody really????

I thought getting an EMBA would be on of the most challenging things I would ever do, well it would take second place to the arduous labor involved in finding a full time job, while career slashing. In fact, my current job search involves some of the hardest work I have ever done.

People, if you know someone who is looking for a job – give them some applause, and a BIG hug …. really, they deserve it!!!

The topic of unemployment, jobs and the economy is inescapable, the subject predominates every news medium and permeates conversations – to tune it out is hopeless unless you really isolate yourself, and that’s the last thing you want to do….. add to that the plethora of job search advice, columns, articles and opinions – it’s really too much! 

Take a deep breath,

here are some tips and advice that have worked for me,

maybe they will work for you too.

Stay positive and focused – not so easy, but essential!

The MOST IMPORTANT thing you need to do is stay positive and focused. Job searching is difficult, and there are times when you will be discouraged. Sometimes …… I fantasize about being curled up on the coach eating cheettos in my PJs, watching a comforting Lifetime movie (cue music), instead of slugging away at finding a job, but instead opt for a focused and positive attitude, this is absolutely essential in order to get an interview and a job.

You must communicate:

• High energy
• Enthusiasm
• Positive attitude

No one is going to give a second look at someone who does not communicate all of these things. So really think about this in every communication that you put out there; writing, phone, personal interview, body language, make sure you…….do it!

My “Work”

I have devised a “work plan” much like a project plan, while it’s really nothing new or revolutionary, it is very helpful. When I started “the great job quest of 2011″, it was completely overwhelming – I had never had to pay much attention to a resume/CV or a job search, because during my career, most of my work had come from word of mouth referrals from my network. But I am now on a slightly different career track, and the job search has changed significantly in the last 24 months – and I acknowledge that it’s going to take all of my resources, intellect and energy to get my dream career opportunity - but it is one of the best investments I can make in myself.

Here are some ideas of how to go about the work of getting a job

• Everyday “go to work”…..because getting a job is your job for now. 
• Find a quiet comfortable space, like the local library – not a coffee shop.
• Break down the week into several “objectives” - search, network, connect, follow-up. 
• Search for job openings that are a good match, discard those that are not.
• Search LinkedIn and close personal network for connections to decision makers that can help with job openings.
• Research companies that are consistent with your core values and direction.
• Make calls to your network, persons in your industry and recruiters.
• Email recruiters with news, updates, send resume and follow up.
• Schedule 15 – 30 minute  “informational” or “scoping” calls.
• 30 minute with your career or life coach - keeps you track and accountable.

Ask for help – seek out advice from professionals

You would be amazed at how generous people are with their professional advice. Recently career coach Susan Goldberg, Susan Goldberg Executive Search Consulting, was kind enough to speak to me for 30 minutes and give me some amazing perspective regarding my own job search, here is some of her advice.

5 Tips to Follow (if you are truly serious about your job search).

1. Never waste your time sending an email or resume unless you have a specific individual to send it to, otherwise follow-up is next to impossible. 
2. Don’t bother sending a resume or an email unless you plan on following it up with a phone-call. Otherwise, it indicates that you are not interested. 
3. Be remembered after an informational interview, be gracious, offer to help the person who is meeting with you and make the offer as specific as possible.
4. Always leave an informational interview with other names to contact.  Ask at the end of a meeting, for specific people to contact so that you can further expand your network, be ready.
5. Never leave an interview without knowing what the next steps of the hiring process will be. It will keep some of the control of the hiring process in your hands and the asking itself will make you feel more confident and self-assured in leaving what can be an anxiety provoking experience.  (If you haven’t been told what next steps are to be taken, ask.  

Focus, re-evaluate, re-group = tweak, tweak, tweak 

Take jobseekers who send out hundreds, sometimes thousands of resumes, and never get any results. In any other context this would merit a change in approach, but they just keep sending out more resumes. This tough job market makes it even more important to stop the mindless application-mailing and analyze what isn’t working – because the problem might be devastatingly simple.
~ Priscilla Claman President of Career Strategies, Inc.

During the last 4 months I have redone my resume at least 6 times – and these tweaks involve heavy thinking and introspection on my part. I have been lucky to have had lot’s of help along the way, ask your friends and network for help – sometimes it’s hard to remember your accomplishments.  

Try using the STAR Key Achievements as a guideline.

• Situation, describe the situation
• Task or Target, what were the initial targets, goals or objectives
• Action, what you did to achieve that target
• Result, what were the results using specifics and measurements (if possible, otherwise rounds numbers or percentages)

And finally…..

• Be Assertive and Proactive
• Be clear
• Tell everyone in your network about your job search 
• Maintain a detailed record of all the jobs you have applied to, including communications, interviews, referrals, and follow-up actions. 
• Networking should be at the center of your job search strategy
• Get to go out there and make it happen.
• Be clear on what you want and need, you’re on your way to getting it.
• Be kind to yourself … it takes time and dedication to find the right fit.

Given the current economic climate, flexible and “alternative” staffing arrangements have – in many cases – proliferated. Rather than looking for full-time, permanent employment, many people are looking instead at multiple temporary jobs. These jobs have acquired new currency in this recession, especially among white-collar job seekers, as they cast about for work of any kind and companies remain cautious about permanent hiring.

While the current state of employment may be rendering job security obsolete, many people in the workforce don’t necessarily view that as a bad thing. Independent workers now comprise 30% of the workforce, and, as Gen Ys increasingly desire professional flexibility, co-working spaces are becoming much more popular and in-demand.

As a result, a number of new apps and sites that facilitate the “freelance lifestyle” are thriving:

Let’s Meet and Work: The “coffice” has become a common urban staple. Enter Let’s Meet and Work, an app which maps public venues (coffee shops, galleries, museums, book stores) that double as efficient work spaces. Anyone with knowledge of a space can suggest it for the respective city’s map by filling out a recommendation form.

Desktime: Desktime caters to a workforce without HR departments. The site partners up freelancers searching for a place to work with available co-working spaces. Listings include desks or entire offices, conference rooms, and other shared spaces that can be rented by the day, week or month.

Loosecubes: Loosecubes differentiates itself by emphasizing the valuable professional connections facilitated through co-working establishments—a distinction that’s made in the service’s self-identification as a “community marketplace.” However, in order to post and respond to listings on the site, users must first set up a profile identifying their primary profession, a description of their “work vibe” (options include titles such as “hacker,” “fratty” and “awesome”), whether or not they are accepting new work and location.

While this has been a growing trend for some time, there are now serious economic and technological reasons driving the arrangement. And perhaps this is indicative of a more basic human need, too — the need to be around other people. No matter how much we connect via mobile phones, email, texting, social media sites like Facebook or through webinars, many people still need to be around others for ideas, encouragement and conversation. 

Drive more traffic, increase content consumption, and encourage user participation…Gamification has become a most exciting mainstream technique that marketers rely on.

Gamification is the process of using game thinking and mechanics to engage audiences and solve problems.

Game dynamics are now entering every aspect of daily life. Good games take players (aka customers) on a journey. Early Gamification techniques only involved adding simple game mechanics like points, badges and leader boards to websites and apps. But, what I discovered at the Gamification Summit in NYC, an incredible 2 day event, is that it is not enough. The gamification journey should give the user something to learn and master, encourages people to stay engaged with your brand and have FUN in the process.

Extrinsic vs. Intrinsic Motivations: (what motivates people)

Continue Reading “Drive more traffic, increase content consumption, and encourage user participation with Gamification”

Entrepreneurs are arguably the most important actors in our economy—the creators of new wealth and new jobs, the inventors of new products and services, and the revolutionizers of society and the economy
~ Lesa Mitchell, VP of advancing innovation at the Kauffman Foundation.

I have been reading a great deal recently on how small business and entrepreneurship is the potential savior of our US economy. Economist will agree that older established companies DO NOT hold the promise of job creation or a renewed and revived economy, but instead the next bright new companies.

Venture capitalist will tell you that EVERYONE is on the lookout for the next “Gazelle” or fast growing start-up with the potential of becoming the next Google or Apple. But in between the “Giants” and the “Gazelles”, lies a whole territory of smaller companies that also help to fuel the economy not only by job creation but by private wealth creation, smaller companies from yoga studios to e-commerce web portals.

How important is entrepreneurship to the US economy?

This is where the jobs are, not at General Motors. It is about creating new companies, new industries, not propping up behemoths
~ John Harthorne, a co-founder of MassChallenge

The US Government has identified entrepreneurs as an important key to turning the economy around, and in January of this year The White House helped launch the Startup America Partnership. This is an independent, private-sector entity partnership between the US Government and private equity. The US Government is committed to matching funds in this venture to encourage the creation of new startups, with a principal focus on supporting existing firms who could become “Gazelles”.

How do Women entrepreneurs stack up?

Continue Reading “Can women entrepreneurs help save the US economy? YES!”